Thursday, April 07, 2005

Uncle Tom's First Post

The following request came to me the other day folks:

Dear Uncle Tom,

All over the news people are trying to save stupid crap that no one
cares about, like the rainforest and those seals that Canada is
killing. What did those seals, the rainforest, or any endangered
species do for them or us? Nothing that's what. I am trying to save
something that is dear to my heart and I am sure millions of others
around the world, Taco Bell's Chilli Cheese Burrito. I was thinking
to help get others on the bandwagon to post one comment on people's
blogs while blog surfing. I wouldn't post anonymous, I would let them
know who I was and be proud that I am trying to help the world. Yet
an office mate of mine said that this would be considered Blog-spam
and that it would be wrong. Uncle Tom what should I do?

Confused and Starving


Well C&S,

I too remember the Chili Cheese Burritos from Taco Bell and I too miss them, however unlike you I understand the impact that Canadian seals can have on a community. The following is a site dedicated to educating everyone about the ringed seal. The link will provide a population breakdown of the ringed seal as well as information about Inuit tribes who use the seal for food and trade. NAMMCO.
It wouldn't be fair to exclude the other side of this issue so next I am going to include this link to a "seal protection" site. Pay attention to the graphics on this one folks cause Uncle Tom loves him some graphic design! Bunch of Hippies.
For those of you who are asking "Uncle Tom what becomes of those cute little doe eyed seals once they are clubbed to death?" Well everyone, let me take you to a place where you can purchase some items of clothing made from that seal or mink or beaver or fox or whatever. Staying warm. I hope this clears up your issues with the ringed seal Confused and Starving. As far as the blog spamming, I say send Taco Bell some seal pelts, I think the chili cheese burritos were made from their meat anyway.

--Uncle Tom

13 comments:

Canowine said...

Awww that seal on the banner on your "hippie" site looks just like Casper the friendly seal ghost.

The Keoki said...

It wouldn't be Blog spam it would be the start of a grass roots movement!!! They don't understand the power of the Chili Cheese Burrito!!! And as far as the seals go, they're only cute as babies and isn't that why people are angry. Cute animals are off limits!! Denis Leary did a bit on that..."Hi I'm a baby seal" OOOO you're so cute, you can go. "Hi I'm a cow." Fuck you! Wham! Get on the truck!

Canowine said...

Yeah you all laugh now, but wait until the alien invasion in which aliens like to wear human skin, and leave behind only the cute & hot people. We're safe, right?

RC666 said...

I just hope the aliens are resistant to your faramones, then you can see how the rest of us feel damnit!
I always wanted to start a movement and a mob too.

The Keoki said...

Dammit RC....what the hell are faramones. Own a dictionary...or maybe a pictionary.

Canowine said...

I wonder what a faramone looks like. Maybe it looks like a fone. I'm going to the farmacy to look at some.

RC666 said...

pheromones/faramones, tomato/ketchup whatever. my pictionary just has canowines pic with stink lines coming off and women surrounding him.

The Keoki said...

yeah i could see that....he's such a good looking bastard.

Canowine said...

Hey RC666, my secret is that I rub Ben Gay all over my nuts. It stimulates the pheromones. You should try it!

RC666 said...

Damnit! I couldn't find ben gay last night so I used Icy Hot, I thought it would do the same thing but I don't think it worked. It is 8 hours later and I am still in pain.

Canowine said...

No problem! That stuff comes off real easy with Drano and steel wool.

Arethusa said...

I broke my ban on mall food and tried something from Taco Bell once. It was very icky.

Canowine said...

Ahhhhh...mmmmm....the food court. Symbol of the apex of western civilization. Let's go there now.