The personal ad of the week, courtesy of the always-reliable Washington City Paper:
1/2 woman, 1/2 snake
My biggest fantasy is meeting a woman who is 1/2 human, 1/2 snake. I've always wanted to ride them (non-sexually), because I've heard the ride is smooth and comfortable. I can provide a saddle, and the perfect midnitht riding point. Rattlesnake tails create great salsa music, and thus are preferred. Serious inquiries only please.
More juicy little snakebites from this ad:
I wouldn't sell your mom for a billion dollars.
The quickest way to my heart is through my stomach The quickest way to my bed is through my wang and in the morning, I like my eggs cooked .
Something I said I'd never do but did anyway was have sex with a barnyard animal.
For me, the glass is usually empty. Totally. Fucking. Empty.
If I were president I'd make sodomy legal and conventional sex illegal.
I slaughtered a small nation on Valentine's Day.
I drink a shitload more than I should on my birthday.
When a friend brings up a politics, I usually tell them to shut up
If I get cat-called walking down the street I usually slap my ass