The personal ad of the week, courtesy of the always-reliable Washington City Paper:
1/2 woman, 1/2 snake
My biggest fantasy is meeting a woman who is 1/2 human, 1/2 snake. I've always wanted to ride them (non-sexually), because I've heard the ride is smooth and comfortable. I can provide a saddle, and the perfect midnitht riding point. Rattlesnake tails create great salsa music, and thus are preferred. Serious inquiries only please.
More juicy little snakebites from this ad:
I wouldn't sell your mom for a billion dollars.
The quickest way to my heart is through my stomach The quickest way to my bed is through my wang and in the morning, I like my eggs cooked .
Something I said I'd never do but did anyway was have sex with a barnyard animal.
For me, the glass is usually empty. Totally. Fucking. Empty.
If I were president I'd make sodomy legal and conventional sex illegal.
I slaughtered a small nation on Valentine's Day.
I drink a shitload more than I should on my birthday.
When a friend brings up a politics, I usually tell them to shut up
If I get cat-called walking down the street I usually slap my ass
4 comments:
I have to get his number.
Are you half serpent?
Oh.
No. :( Do you think I still have a chance with this debonaire gentleman?
Maybe. It sounds to me as though he could be a powerful Warlock with his very own dungeon, and if he wanted to, could turn you into a snake from the waist down if he rolls his twenty-sided die right.
But that would be a tragedy, wouldn't it. You would never dance again, and your ass would be transformed into a mere anus.
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