Tuesday, June 14, 2005

SSS--> Monster Ballad Tuesday

Starting today, and for the next several weeks, Tuesday's "Shittiest Shit Ever Shat" will be known as "Monster Ballad Tuesday." Really, it's pretty much the same thing.



We'll kick start this series with some Kix. Here's proof that you can never really trust the amazon.com editorial reviews (from the review for the playfully titled Blow My Fuse (1988)):

Probably the best album from sadly defunct hard-rockers Kix. Never overwhelmingly popular, their only major hit (the anti-suicide ballad "Don't Close Your Eyes") is on this album...they incorporated the L.A. glam style into their music while maintaining a grittier edge that owed a good deal to AC/DC...With considerably more substance than most 1980s pop metal, this album holds up much better than its contemporaries.


"...sadly defunct"...sadly not. Look here. You can catch them at three concerts this year, including the Hagerstown, MD Rod & Gun Club.

"considerably more substance"...if by "substance" you mean poo, I suppose this may be correct.

Paradoxically, the "anti-suicide ballad 'Don't Close Your Eyes'" has driven more people to suicide than it saved. I challenge you download or stream "Don't Close Your Eyes," which climbed to #11 on the Billboard chart in 1989, without holding your ears shut.

Kix - Don't Close Your Eyes (mp3)

4 comments:

SugarDuck said...

"Starting today, and for the next several weeks, Tuesday's "Shittiest Shit Ever Shat" will be known as "Monster Ballad Tuesday." Really, it's pretty much the same thing."

I'm glad to see this official vindication of my long-held position that 80s ballads suck.

Canowine said...

Right? I think it's amazing that these monster ballad compilations are still being made and sold. Who buys those things?

I mean, besides rc666?

RC666 said...

Monster Ballads are awesome. I made one of my own, I don't buy them. The ones thay put out are always missing some good ones. And canowine you can kiss my ass, you were asking me for Alias but then realized you liked it.

Canowine said...

I'm going to post the Alias. It's destiny is to end up on this blog.