The U.S. Military has finally cleared the A-Team of all war crimes charges, and the elite commando unit that has been pursuing the A-Team since the end of the Vietnam War will be reassigned to the hunt for bin Laden. More details in the Onion article..
A quote from the Onion story:
"Murdock said his primary concern at present is getting Baracus to fly from L.A. to Washington, D.C. for the trial.
'He keeps calling me a 'crazy foo' for trying to get him to fly,' Murdock said. 'I told him the chance of the plane crashing into a field of rednecks harassing a religious group was very slim. I'm thinking that if we drug his milk, we can get him on the plane.'"
Elsewhere in the same issue, a seventh grader named Sally becomes a woman in her middle school restroom.