From this morning's story, We'll Never Have Paris Again:
Even a gossip columnist has limits.
Paris Hilton has finally abused mine.
Over the past five years - without any discernible talent, education, scruples, manners, modesty or underpants - the pretty blond great-granddaughter of hotel magnate Conrad Hilton has waged a terrifying campaign for world domination.
The arc of Paris' "career" - from rich, witless party girl to rich, witless party girl with a hit television show - is an insult to the American sense of fairness: the idea that you get ahead by working hard, playing by the rules and acquiring a skill of some sort.
Paris has bothered with none of the above, and yet society continues to reward her with money and fame.
It can't be said more eloquently than that, can it. More:
Make no mistake: I plead guilty to having been one of Paris' enablers - encouraging and even celebrating her silly ways through countless boldface mentions.
I admit that Paris and I have been snared in an ugly web of mutual addiction: She to all the lurid ink, me to all the pointless drama.
But on the "Today" show this morning, I'm planning to announce my New Year's resolution: going cold turkey. No more Paris Hilton.
The announcement is a done deal. But that's not all...on the Today show, he also suggested that he may resolve to drop one annoying celebrity at the end of every year. Who's on the bubble for 2006? Lindsay Lohan.